朋友是什么？更长的寿命

小爱不爱

In the quest for better health, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful weapon that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery, slow aging and prolong life: their friends.
, r* Q7 n' x1 k  lResearchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of friendship and social networks in overall health. A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a large circle of friends were 22 percent less likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends. A large 2007 study showed an increase of nearly 60 percent in the risk for obesity among people whose friends gained weight. And last year, Harvard researchers reported that strong social ties could promote brain health as we age.
6 o1 g/ o% l0 L' u+ G4 j“In general, the role of friendship in our lives isn’t terribly well appreciated,” said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro. “There is just scads of stuff on families and marriage, but very little on friendship. It baffles me. Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”
In a new book, “The Girls From Ames: A Story of Women and a 40-Year Friendship” (Gotham), Jeffrey Zaslow tells the story of 11 childhood friends who scattered from Iowa to eight different states. Despite the distance, their friendships endured through college and marriage, divorce and other crises, including the death of one of the women in her 20s.
Using scrapbooks, photo albums and the women’s own memories, Mr. Zaslow chronicles how their close friendships have shaped their lives and continue to sustain them. The role of friendship in their health and well-being is evident in almost every chapter.
Two of the friends have recently learned they have breast cancer. Kelly Zwagerman, now a high school teacher who lives in Northfield, Minn., said that when she got her diagnosis in September 2007, her doctor told her to surround herself with loved ones. Instead, she reached out to her childhood friends, even though they lived far away.
/ G( y# C5 i/ _- z: X' d“The first people I told were the women from Ames,” she said in an interview. “I e-mailed them. I immediately had e-mails and phone calls and messages of support. It was instant that the love poured in from all of them.”
When she complained that her treatment led to painful sores in her throat, an Ames girl sent a smoothie maker and recipes. Another, who had lost a daughter to leukemia, sent Ms. Zwagerman a hand-knitted hat, knowing her head would be cold without hair; still another sent pajamas made of special fabric to help cope with night sweats.
, Z* f$ s+ r& z8 qMs. Zwagerman said she was often more comfortable discussing her illness with her girlfriends than with her doctor. “We go so far back that these women will talk about anything,” she said.
Ms. Zwagerman says her friends from Ames have been an essential factor in her treatment and recovery, and research bears her out. In 2006, a study of nearly 3,000 nurses with breast cancer found that women without close friends were four times as likely to die from the disease as women with 10 or more friends. And notably, proximity and the amount of contact with a friend wasn’t associated with survival. Just having friends was protective.
Bella DePaulo, a visiting psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, whose work focuses on single people and friendships, notes that in many studies, friendship has an even greater effect on health than a spouse or family member. In the study of nurses with breast cancer, having a spouse wasn’t associated with survival.
: `# r* X* [) _While many friendship studies focus on the intense relationships of women, some research shows that men can benefit, too. In a six-year study of 736 middle-age Swedish men, attachment to a single person didn’t appear to affect the risk of heart attack and fatal coronary heart disease, but having friendships did. Only smoking was as important a risk factor as lack of social support.
6 U  Q5 s6 \  G9 n6 GExactly why friendship has such a big effect isn’t entirely clear. While friends can run errands and pick up medicine for a sick person, the benefits go well beyond physical assistance; indeed, proximity does not seem to be a factor.
5 {) w% G; f% z" f$ z9 MIt may be that people with strong social ties also have better access to health services and care. Beyond that, however, friendship clearly has a profound psychological effect. People with strong friendships are less likely than others to get colds, perhaps because they have lower stress levels.
8 ~; w0 Y4 J% T( FLast year, researchers studied 34 students at the University of Virginia, taking them to the base of a steep hill and fitting them with a weighted backpack. They were then asked to estimate the steepness of the hill. Some participants stood next to friends during the exercise, while others were alone.
The students who stood with friends gave lower estimates of the steepness of the hill. And the longer the friends had known each other, the less steep the hill appeared.
“People with stronger friendship networks feel like there is someone they can turn to,” said Karen A. Roberto, director of the center for gerontology at Virginia Tech. “Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message of these studies is that friends make your life better.”
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为了更健康，很多人求助于医生、自己读些医学书籍或使用辅助药物。但却忽略了能帮他们抵御疾病和抑郁情绪、加快康复、延缓衰老、延年益寿的重要武器：朋友。
1 q4 G8 J& `3 ]2 K! F4 ?& l研究人员现在才开始注重友谊和社交圈在人的综合健康方面的重要性。为期10年的澳大利亚研究发现，有广阔朋友圈的老年人死于研究期间的比率比朋友很少的老人低20%。2007年的一个大规模的研究显示，在有朋友体重超标的人群中他们肥胖病的比率上升至60%。去年，哈佛大学的研究人员报告说，强大的社会关系网能在我们上年纪的时候促进大脑健康。
: E! K0 O2 \& j" D“总的来说，友谊在我们生活中的重要作用还没有被充分认识到，”格林斯博罗北卡罗莱纳大学社会学教授Rebecca G. Adams说，“关于婚姻和家庭对个人生活影响的研究很多，这让我比较困惑，实际上朋友关系比家庭成员关系对人精神健康的影响更大。”
在一本名为《来自亚美尼亚的女孩们：一个女人和她与朋友四十年友谊的故事》，Jeffrey Zaslow讲述了11个孩童时期一起玩耍的朋友从爱荷华州分散到八个不同的州的故事。尽管空间相隔，他们的友谊从大学延续到结婚、再到离婚以及经历其他的人生危机，包括一个二十多岁女孩的离世。
借助剪贴簿、相册和这些女人们的回忆，Zaslow先生以编年体的形式描述了她们亲密关系的形成、发展及维系。几乎在每一章中友谊在她们健康和精神状态中的作用是很明显的。
1 @7 C1 e! c* o其中两个朋友最近得知她们患上了乳腺癌。身为高中教师、现住于美国明尼苏达州诺斯菲尔德的Kelly Zwagerman说，在2007年9月拿到诊断结果的时候，医生跟她说要和自己相爱的人在一起。但是，她却去找了童年时的朋友，尽管她们住在很远的地方。
; }/ L* ]5 @, k6 E/ r  H3 g“我告诉的第一个人是来自亚美尼亚的朋友，”她在一个采访中说。“我给她们发了电子邮件，很快就收到了回复邮件、电话和留言，询问是否需要帮助。几乎是瞬间她们的爱涌向了我。”
# w" s2 j: u& w当她抱怨治疗导致她的咽喉非常疼痛的时候，一位亚美尼亚朋友送来了缓解疼痛的药方和原料。另一位朋友，失去了患白血病的女儿，送给Zwagerman一顶手工编织的帽子，因为她知道头部没有头发会很容易着凉；还有一位朋友送来特殊纤维材料做的睡衣裤以帮助她对付盗汗。
, ^% n2 v5 p! E& }, jZwagerman女士说亚美尼亚的朋友是她治疗过程和康复的一个非常重要的因素，研究证明了这一点。2006年，对近三千名患乳腺癌护士的研究发现，跟有10个或10个以上亲密朋友的女性相比，没有亲密朋友的患病女性死于这种疾病的比例是前者的四倍。显而易见，接近和联系朋友的数量跟是否存活没有联系，只不过朋友会起积极作用。
; H# `2 r& y! K7 T8 y虽然，许多对友谊的研究侧重于关系亲密的女性，一些研究表明，男性也能从中受益。在对736名瑞典中年男性长达六年的研究中，对于单身人士来说，没有明显心脏病发作和致命冠心病的风险，但是有友谊的却有这样的风险，只有抽烟是和缺乏社会关系一样重要的风险因素。
2 W: F$ j  R4 K7 E% z关于友谊为什么有这么大作用的确切原因还不是太清楚，但朋友可以为生病的人跑腿和领取医药，这些好处远远超出了护士的护理，身边的人看上去并不是其中的重要因素。
这也许是因为有强大社会关系的人能获得更好的卫生服务和医疗。但是，除了这些，友谊明显有深远的心理上的影响。有稳固朋友关系的人比其他人更不易患感冒，或许是因为她们有较低的压力指数。
去年，研究人员对美国弗吉尼亚大学的34个学生进行了研究，把他们带到了陡峭的山脚下，给他们配备了一定登山设备。然后他们被要求估计山的陡峭度。在练习的过程中有些参加者跟朋友站在一起，但其他人则单独行动。
跟朋友在一起的学生对山的高度给出了比较低的估计，而且同行的朋友交往的时间越久，山的高度看上去就越低。
2 ^4 R- R+ h6 U5 Y9 t“有牢靠友谊圈的人觉得有人能给他们提供帮助，”弗吉尼亚理工大学老年病学中心主任Karen A. Roberto说。“友谊是一种被低估的资源，持续的研究都表明友谊能让你的生活变得更美好!”